


Pride & Honor

by BaZzZ21



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Byakugan, Eventual Romance, Family Drama, Fuuinjutsu, Kings & Queens, Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village, M/M, Mangekyou Sharingan, Memory Loss, Mystery, Naruto + Sasuke + Shisui + Itachi teamwork, Naruto is a sweet little angel, Oiroke no Jutsu | Sexy no Jutsu, Political Alliances, Questionable Agendas, Sasuke is a pompous ass, Secrets, Shameless Smut, Sharingan, Shisui and Itachi are badass duo, Uzushiogakure | Hidden Eddy Village, sasuke is a drama queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2019-06-20 03:04:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15524661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaZzZ21/pseuds/BaZzZ21
Summary: (I SUCK AT SUMMARIES YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED LOL)In a matriarchal society, only a queen may ascend to the throne, and only daughters have been born to the royal family for generations-but to the royal family's utter disbelief, the current royal couple had a son. To protect Naruto and prevent a possible riot in a means to take over, the prince must become a princess in appearance, dress and behavior-which makes things really awkward because "she" has been betrothed to a neighboring prince before he-er, she-was born.





	1. Non nobis solum nati sumus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns all of them (though Sasuke might protest and say that Naruto is rightfully his lmao). I do not gain any profit from this work. The phrase "Unbowed, unbent, unbroken" from the Game of Thrones belongs to George R.R. Martin. The story prompt came from the internet, and I will attach the link once I remembered where I took it LOL. The title is a latin phrase, which means "Not for ourselves alone are we born" and speaks mainly about duty. :)

 

Uzumaki Naruto feels like his left shoulder would fall from its hinges any minute now.

Beside him, Kushina fails to suppress an expression of contempt from showing on her face. She cracks her knuckles menancingly, all the while maintaining an elegant, regal air around her. Minato only spares them a dubious glance before turning his attention back to the papers before him.

Naruto tries hard to stifle a groan, in fear of raising his mother's temper further. It wouldn't do any good if the Queen goes suddenly berserk in the presence of her future son-in-law and company later. _But it isn't fair,_ he thinks dejectedly. But it has to be done, for Naruto had already sworn from the moment he could talk that he would do anything for the sake of Uzushiogakure. _Everything._

He is, after all, a man who keeps his promises, and in this he finds honor.

"Stop fidgeting, Naruto. Or else you wouldn't be able to walk for a week." Kushina reaches out a hand to lay on top of his waist-length hair, gently tugging at the blond strands before fixing his obnoxiously huge hair ornament. It pricks his scalp on various places, but admittedly, the circle of rhinestones and pearls sitting daintily atop his hair makes him a sight to behold. His mother had squealed in a manner unbefitting of the highest-ranking lady that morning when she saw him come out from his dressing room.

A soft knock resounds across the throne hall, and Kushina tucks her hand away to her lap. Naruto straightens his back but his eyes gaze down to the floor, a sense of dread starting to fill his whole being. "Enter," is all Minato says, but his strong voice echoes and bounces off the marble floors and carries past the walls, for the double brass doors at the far end swing open in an instant.

A silver-haired man strides in and makes his way towards the raised dais, bowing low before pulling himself up. His usually lazy eyes are now sharp with attention, and Naruto couldn't help but miss the jovial wave that the General would commonly send his way as if he isn't the son of a Queen and King. "They are here, Your Highness."

The three of them rise up from their velvet seats, and Kushina orders in an imperious tone, "Let them in, Kakashi."

As if on cue, the sound of several footsteps against the marble floors makes its way inside. The first one belongs to what Naruto assumes is the King of Konohagakure, because he holds himself in a way that Minato does. His broad shoulders speaks of certainty and the lines on his face screams of haughtiness. Not a few feet away from him is a sophisticatedly-dressed woman, her steps graceful and lithe. Naruto holds his breath as he waits to see... _him_.

 _There he is,_ Naruto muses, as his eyes take in a tall, raven-haired man with a face of a god. Everythng about him looks downright flawless, and he couldn't help but feel self-conscious. Not that he needs to be, for all the praises that he'd received both in male and female forms. But there is something about him that makes Naruto's inferiority complex rear its ugly head. _So this is_ _Sasuke Uchiha_.

Finally the Uchiha family reaches the front, falling in a single straight line with Sasuke in the middle. From the moment he walked in, Sasuke's eyes had only been on Naruto's, and the blond feels the telltale spike of lust almost overwhelm him.

He hasn’t reacted this way, not since-

"So you're my...would-be wife." Naruto shivers at the sound of the low baritone voice so inflectionless, Sasuke’s face now so frighteningly devoid of any emotion. Sasuke's former interest on him seems like it flew out of the window in one second flat, and Naruto didn't know what to make out of it. His mouth opens to form a decent response, the words automatic on his tongue because it has been drilled on him countless times, enough to make his heart bleed and _ache_ from the unfairness of _it_ all. 

But the raven-haired man before him cuts him off in an instant. "Isn't it in your custom to bow before your future husband...and _king_?"

Silence ensues. Naruto couldn't breathe for a second, the heavy weight of the kimono against his skin suffocating the air out of his lungs. He suddenly remembers his mother's tears and his father's cries. He thinks about how Uzushiogakure glows under the orange hues of sunset, the vision from up the terraces climbing from the edge of the ocean and up the surrounding hills so fierce and bright that it sends a feeling of pride and protectiveness surge through him. 

Both break his heart every single time.

He finds his body automatically do it for him.

_I am unbowed,_

He lowers his eyes.

_Unbent,_

He pushes away any lingering tension evident on his body.

 _Unbroken_.

His head and back falls forward in a snap.

Naruto would do his duty, no matter what it might entail.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So of course it is confusing in the start, with a lot of details yet to unfold as the stroy progresses. What do you think of kind of trope? Should I continue this or nah?
> 
> PUT ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, FROM CRITICISMS TO PRAISES AND WHATNOT, I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM ALL OF YOU!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I removed the tag "cross-dressing" to avoid confusion. And I already put a title on the first chapter (it isn't "prologue" anymore). Sorry for the minor changes :) So here it is, though it's still too short for my liking. Medical school is hectic, so I have to juggle their crazy workload AND write fics on my computer. Rest assured that I wouldn't leave this story and if I ever plan to (which I think is highly improbable) I will post an announcement here. Just so you know.

* * *

"It looks like he couldn't remember," Fugaku remarks silently as Kushina and Minato lead the way down the lengthy corridor. Huge golden-framed portraits of the members of the Namikaze and Uzumaki Clans are mounted across the walls, along with several abstract paintings depicting nature in general.  _They aren't as beautiful as the one in the main hall, though_ , Mikoto reflects inwardly as she vividly remembers the intricate tapestry that greeted her eyes as she stepped inside the palatial threshold today. With her critical eyes, she noted that it greatly resembles a fox.

She wonders why they haven't put it down.

Minato simply shrugs his shoulder in a nonchalant matter, but Kushina apparently bristles at the comment with barely-constrained anger. "And it should stay that way." Kushina's chilling voice carries with it a raw power that shakes Mikoto's knees a little. Fugaku doesn't seem affected, but the lines of his back and shoulders look tense.

Mikoto decides to intervene. "Shisui's skills are unmatched throughout the land. I fully put my trust in his capabilities." The placating tone of Mikoto does the trick to ebb the redhead's rising temper. Minato places a comforting hand on Kushina's elbow, and leans down to whisper something in her ear. After a minute, Kushina bounces back to her usual bubbly self.

"I trust that man, ya know?" She sends a playful wink to Mikoto, though her lips are straining to form a genuine smile. "I'm just...paranoid. Maybe it's because I haven't seen him in a long while."

Fugaku looks ahead and says no more.

____

Naruto doesn't believe in gods, but he almost asks for divine intervention as Sasuke enters the premises of his bedroom.

Dinner had been a horrendous affair. At least according to him. The conversation leaned heavily on politics before discussing about the current situation of both Uzushiogakure and Konohagakure. Sasuke hasn't uttered a word to him, and Naruto retaliated (albeit childishly) by not looking at his direction for the duration of the evening. It isn't required for a princess to offer any opinions regarding political matters; it isn't _encouraged_. Normally it would have enraged Naruto but he used it as a convenient excuse to remain silent in his seat.

It irked Naruto, how the Uchiha prince easily brings out the worst traits in him- his insecurities, short temper and dire need of attention. He was silently fuming as he paid respects to the Uchihas before they were led to their respective rooms, and was still seething as he made his way down his private chambers, not really mindful of his surroundings.

He knows the place like the back of his hand, after all.

And it has been the sole reason why he has temporarily forgotten the customs. 

This results in a shocked Naruto brandishing out a tantō hidden beneath his pillowcase, the sharp edge pointed at the unexpected visitor. A mild surprise slips in Sasuke's face, and Naruto relishes in the expression before his stupidity catches up with him. _Shit._

Sasuke closes the door behind him with a soft thud, and he looks calmly at Naruto before saying, "care to explain this, _Naruko_?" He says his-or in this case, _her_ -name in a voice that reveals nothing of his inner thoughts.

It makes Naruto quite edgy, not having a clue if Sasuke is already offended at his actions so far and if he finds him suspicious. Princesses could have daggers within their disposal, but it is only for design purposes and nothing more. Ladies aren't supposed to be trained in handling any sort of weaponry, and this kind of behavior, whether intentional or not, is something to be considered as a threat to one's life.

Sasuke has every right now to demand for his execution in a moment's whim.

But as of the moment he is merely asking for an explanation and not his untimely death, so Naruto gives him the most plausible one. "My deepest apologies, Uchiha-sama. I was merely toying with my ornament and you ,uhm, suddenly entering has startled me so much." He buries the self-disgust he feels for his forced ‘stuttering’ , and covers it up with a sheepish smile for good measure. "I forgot the tradition that we are supposed to sleep on the same room." He bows his head to pull off a convincing acting for the raven-haired prince before him. He never had to take acting classes, and not once had he participated in any dramatic roleplay and skits that his grandmother so dearly loves to orchestrate for entertainment purposes and recreational activies. But despite his inexperience and disinterest in that kind of field, he sat in the front rows and watched more than enough to know that mixing half-truths with lies could come across as genuinity. 

It might sound contradictory, but fake it ‘til you make it is his chosen mantra for this special occasion.

 _I’ve_ _stooped so low today on the same person. Twice._

_But he doesn’t intend to repeat it._

The silence is so loud that he could feel its heaviness in his ears. 

Naruto ends up being surprised a second time to the reply murmured off-handedly. "You may call me Sasuke."

He takes it as a cue to look up and meet Sasuke's gaze. It is another regulation of Konoha. A wife, or a future one at that, needs to have a permission before saying her husband's first name. Having that privilege implies something more than aquaintancy. Often times it would mean intimacy. He could remember Tsunade baa-chan’s voice as she countlessly beaten on his head the customs of Konoha and marraige on his head. 

But Naruto can’t even make a wild guess about Sasuke’s favorite food, or know if he’s left-handed like him. Or anything that matters, really. 

The Uchiha prince walks past him and towards the bed as if nothing momentous happened. Naruto turns around to watch as Sasuke makes himself comfortable in the plush cushions, pale fingers trailing the crimson velvet curtains surrounding the bed, embroidered with golden figures. Naruto finds his feet moving on its own accord, slowly bringing him closer to his soon-to-be-husband.

Naruto is probably delirious to come up with the idea. He blames it on the fact that he hasn't eaten much, or the guilt gnawing at his gut for lying and still coming off scratch-free.

Maybe it is simply because of the way Sasuke is sitting on his own bed, looking as if he owns it, and owns Naruto too. He tries not to sound too desperate. "Come with me to the ocean tomorrow," he blurts out, his hands entwined behind his back as he says so. He notes the abrupt stop of Sasuke's fingers tracing a fox figure in the curtain. He doesn't immediately respond but his dark eyes are now on him, so Naruto goes on. "I know Konoha isn't surrounded by any bodies of water. I've seen the maps before. I wanted to show you what you're missing on."

Sasuke tilts his head to the side,  before turning his attention on the wide windows that give only a slight view of the vast ocean bathed in silver moonlight. It is a surreal sight, and it tugs Naruto's heart with want. It is perhaps this sudden _urge_ that makes his fingers clasp around Sasuke's wrist, pulling him towards the balcony where the view would be perfect. But it isn't enough, not until you could feel the waves crashing against your feet and the only smell filling your senses is the sharp tang of brine. He tells it all to Sasuke. "So I need to take you down there tomorrow. With the sun high up in the sky and everything."

Sasuke seems, for a while, peaceful and content and something _else_ he couldn't name as his onyx eyes remain steadily fixed on the ocean. Naruto couldn't stop looking at him, not knowing why and not really caring to find out _why_ , and he notices a mole below Sasuke's right ear, so small that it would be almost invisible if observed from a distance. He didn't immediately notice the dark eyes swivel upon him, an eyebrow arching up in a silent question.

Naruto pathetically harrumphs and chooses to glance away.

He doesn't have an inkling why he feels suddenly mortified for being caught staring. But it all vanishes when Sasuke speaks up in a cold voice. “I hate oceans. Don't try to convince me otherwise." And with that he stalks off back inside the room.

Most people think that Naruto is unobservant, uncaring and in worst case scenarios, stupid. He lets them be. So he doesn't mention how he couldn't shake off Sasuke's voice tinged with longing as his words say otherwise, or the way the pale hands were clenched so tight when he walked away that Naruto is a little afraid it would bleed from too much pressure. He remembers the way those dark eyes flash with interest when they land upon him the moment they first met several hours ago, and also how Sasuke brushes it off after an instant. His moodiness offsets everything in Naruto, but it makes him want to know more, and dig deeper. 

 _What an enigma_.

____

A shout reverberates in the clearing before it is swiftly cut off. Itachi doesn't bother cleaning his katana as he puts it back in its sheath. A few feet away from him, Shisui's eyes are swirling menancingly, black tomoes a stark contrast against the red irises. On the ground before him, a man cries in agony. Shisui doesn’t flinch at the sound, but suddenly his voice slices through the desperate pleas getting louder by the second, sharply and unflinchingly like Itachi’s most coveted sword. "Tell me who's behind this."

The man shudders violently before his tongue slips out from his mouth. Itachi comes closer to inspect the three solid and two broken black lines spanning from the back of the tongue to the tip.

Shisui doesn't look surprised at what he sees. With a flick of his hand, he brings out a kunai and impales it through the head of the man kneeling before him.

The whimpers end in an instant. Shisui lets go of the bloodied kunai and looks up to the carnage surrounding them. Crows litter the sky, rendering it almost black.

Itachi stares at his hands.

He doesn't give a damn how bloody it could get.

After all, blood is the price for betrayal, and he knows it too well.

____

" _I won't let you forget_." A sinister voice teases his consciousness. Naruto couldn't see anything, so he doesn't know where it is coming from.

All he knows is that he feels both hot and cold all over.

And then it is replaced by a searing pain as crimson eyes and black crows fills his vision.

It feels a lot like his mind is fracturing and his whole being breaking apart at the seams.

But through the haze of pain, he is still able to see a person materialize in front of him with dark hair and dark eyes, and Naruto knows _him_ even though he doesn't, not really, and even though the person is facing him he couldn't really see _his_ face. Naruto wants so badly to ask _who are you_ , and he probably should say _save me_ because his mind could take no more.

But instead what comes out of his mouth is _who am I?_

The last thing Naruto sees is a hand reaching out for him, pale fingers waiting for his own.

____

Sasuke wakes up to the sound of someone gasping for air.

He turns around, and any remnant of sleep escapes him as he notices Naruko's tormented expression, her body flailing around as if trying to break free. He rolls over to her side and gently shakes her form, hoping to wake her up. A tan hand smacks his grip away, loosening his hold on her arms.

It takes him a full minute of calling out her name before Naruko's eyes blink open.

 _They're so blue_ , Sasuke thinks almost desperately. Seeing them several hours ago left him reeling with too many emotions.  _Just like_ -

"Fuck." Naruko sits up  from her position, the blankets pooling around her lap. Her face is glistening with sweat, and her petite form is trembling.

He couldn’t help but let out an uncharacteristic snort. Naruko's disbelieving eyes are on him, her blond brows scrunched up in confusion. "What?"

Ladies don't curse out loud, or say bad words in a brusque manner. Hearing it from his future spouse, and the way she says it as if she'd done that a hundred times and give zero fucks about it, makes a laugh tumble out from his mouth.

But it is more of the fact that somebody else's words had echoed in the blonde's voice, someone who isn't Naruko, and someone from his past.

He tries so hard to _forget,_ and Sasuke never has to try so hard before. In anything, to anyone.

But he keeps on failing on this single damn thing.

He wonders if it is enough for him cut off this arrangement.

"Nothing." He stands up and goes through the contents of his pouch that he had placed on the bedside table before dozing off. _I need to do this_ , he convinces himself as he brings out two glass jars, one filled with white powder and the other one containing what looks like a golden viscous liquid. "Do you have any cups or glasses here?" He inquires, ignoring the obvious question lingering on the blonde's mind. She motions to the side door not too far away from him. "I'll be right back." He leaves the jars on the bedside table and walks off towards the mini door.

He opens it to reveal a cozy room, where rows upon rows of wooden bookshelves were stacked a meter apart. He flicks the switch on, illuminating the room with a warm golden light. He looks up to the ceiling, admiring the mural above him portraying the different constellations in the night sky against a cobalt blue background. On the far side of the room is a brick-stoned fireplace, and in front of it is a mahogany coffee table with mugs and teaspoons placed on square table linens, a silver kettle and a pitcher of water in the middle. He trails along the marble floors to reach the back of the room and picks up a cup and the pitcher before tracing his steps back to the entrance, and vows to come back tomorrow to check out the books.

He finds Naruko sniffing a jar, her face plastered with a thoughtful expression. "It's honey, isn't it?" And then she points out to the other jar. "And that one's powdered milk." She seems immensely proud of her observational skills, and the sight is _almost_ enough to make Sasuke smile.

He snatches the jar away. "Dobe, what if it's poison? Some venoms only need to be whiffed at to take effect."

Naruko just stares at him for a second, a blank expression on her face. "What did you just call _me_?"

Sasuke has lived for 24 years, and he has already encountered more imposing figures than his five-foot-eight fiancé, who is currently trying in vain to intimidate him with stormy eyes and a matching scowl. He completely ignores it in favor of finishing mixing the contents of the drink and places it on both of her hands when it's done. "Drink this. It will help you sleep and keep the nightmares away."

Naruko begrudgingly brings it to her lips and sips quietly, all the while looking at him with a silent _no thanks_ on her eyes. When she gulps the whole milk down to its last drop, she places it back on the bedside table. He thought she would've launched to a pathetic tirade, but instead she asks a question. "Why do you have something like this on your pouch?"

Sasuke puts the jars back to his pouch and lies down on the bed, turning his back on her. He hears the soft rustle of blankets and feels the slight dip on the bed. Minutes pass, and that's when he decides to answer. "I have insomnia, and it helps me sleep." Maybe some wicked soul takes possession of him, because he adds after awhile, "And I used to do it for someone else."

He couldn't entirely remove the affection from his tone.

Just like he couldn't wholly ignore the saccharine scent still lingering in the air, and he knows for certain that if he opens his mouth, he would taste honey on his tongue.

And how it brings him back, _always_ brings him back, as with all things really, to-

"But don't mistake this as kindness. I don't feel anything for you." Sasuke should make an effort to make the words less cutting. But he doesn't, because he doesn't _care_.

"I see." Naruko didn't question why Sasuke fell asleep faster than her hours ago, or who is _that_ person he is referring to.  Sasuke respects her for it, and is grateful that at least his would-be-wife isn't some simpering, nagging fool. He doesn't admit all of it out loud, though.

Naruko doesn't have to know _anything_. After all, she has her own secrets.

Starting with the tantō in her hand hours ago.

Maybe he could live with this. But as soon as he considers the errant thought, an almost taunting voice echoes in the deep recesses of his languid mind. _No you won't_.

And how, despite _that_ annoying but yet familiar-as-his-own voice, Sasuke falls into an easy slumber yet again, without having to drink anything.

But it doesn't stop him from dreaming familiar eyes bluer than the sky and a laugh so bright that it lights him up from the inside.

____

 _I heard that before_ , Naruto thinks. _And it somehow tastes familiar..._

But he forgets all about it, even the hissing voice and the mysterious person in his dreams, when he wakes up the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several POVs in one chapter (I'm sorry for that) but I need it to build the plot. Hopefully you got a glimpse of what might possibly happen ;) And if anyone gets confused and for future chapter purposes, Naruto is "Naruko" in Sasuke's POV since he knows "her" as a girl, but when it's on Naruto's POV, Naruto bears the same name and he's male. Hehe. :D And since I'm feeling kinda generous, I left some clues if you squint your eyes lmao :P
> 
> The next chapter centers much more on Uzushiogakure, welcome feasts and a little surprise!!! *laughs evilly* 
> 
> Please DO comment because it means a lot and motivates me to update quicker and make the chapters longer LOL. I'm open to all criticisms, ideas that you might want to incorporate in this story (and I will acknowledge that it came from you at the start of the chapter if ever I decided to use it), and some praises wouldn't hurt :D Also, I am soooo stressed in med school and just seeing even a one-word comment would make me feel appreciated and happy inside <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be studying for my practicals and long exam in Anatomy, but I missed writing and I need to relieve myself from too much academic pressure so... viola, the result of my procrastination in med school XD And yeah, this is like, DOUBLE or TRIPLE the length of the first two chapters (ahem comments section ahem). I LOVE YOU ALL GUYS AND YOUR KUDOS/COMMENTS KEEP ME GOING <3
> 
> Btw, this chapter is "half-cooked" since it's not yet revised (I don't have the time I'm so sorry), so it isn't as perfect as I would want to-grammar mistakes, awkward sentence flow, etc. Once I edited this, I would put it in the note above the next chapter that I'll be uploading. :)
> 
> Sasuke's anthem for this chapter seems to be "The memory" by Mayday Parade LOL.

 

Sai doesn't make a sound as Danzou runs the sharp edge of a blade along the length of his tongue, tracing the patterns imprinted in bold strokes of black ink. He pierces the thick muscle as he remakes his most favored seal, and he does an unnecessary deeper cut just to elicit a response from his student.

Sai doesn't even blink at him, his ebony eyes unflinchingly staring back at his own as he continues his work. Danzou intimately knows the burning sensation that accompanies the branding process, brought about by a special kind of weapon, and is specifically for rendering seals. It took him ten years to make it perfect, and consequently lost lives of some of his valuable men in the process.

Their lives didn't matter in the end. Not nearly as much as the benefits that he finally gained from using the seal.

Not a lot of people are aware of his experiments, anyway. But working in the shadows has been the Root's way of dealing with everything that ultimately led to Konoha's protection.

Danzou will do what it takes for Konoha's sake. He had promised on his blood and he already knew from the start how this way of life would change him in the long run. He didn't regret choosing to be its leader, to be the arm that lends judgment alongside the King, to be in the shadows as Konoha's dark knight.

After all, the organization of Root has been founded on the darkest of secrets. And decades from now, Root will continue to breed its own kind of soldiers.

He pulls back his blade while admiring his work, and he sees Sai swallowing his own blood before he closes his mouth.

Indeed, Sai is one of his most trusted men.

He might have an unusual style in fighting and people tend to make the mistake of underestimating his techniques  (he had done it in the past as well, and deeply regrets it), but behind Sai's art is raw power and a cunning mind to put any situation to his advantage. Undoubtedly, Sai works best as a double agent, having already mastered the art of subterfuge at the age of ten. He is Danzou's spymaster.

His Shadow Knight.

"What do you want me to do?" The words rolls off Sai's in a way that sounds like having cotton stuffed in your mouth. Danzou reaches inside the folds of his clothes and pulls his hand away a second later, a small vial with a stopper in his hand. Sai stands up from his previous kneeling position and takes the vial from him.

"Uchiha would be coming back here in a few month's time with the Uzushiogakure's princess. The wedding is supposed to be held here, before the both of them will go back and stay in Uzushio for good. I'll assign you as the princess' escort and personal guard." Danzou didn't need to add that he finds this arrangement to be simply atrocious. The Hidden Eddy Village is powerful in its own right, having people with relatively long life and large reservoirs for chakra. But those characteristics aren't enough for Uzushio to be put on constant barrage of threats as of late.

It is their renowned fuinjutsu that makes them a target for people around the Land of Fire and even beyond its borders. But how long would they be able to stand their ground?

Until now, Danzou doesn't have an inkling as to why Fugaku still desires to be associated with Uzushio, because in doing so they would be putting Konoha in a state of danger, too. He speculated at first that it must be because of their long-standing tie that started with the First King of Konoha, Hashirama, having wed Mito Uzumaki from the Hidden Eddy Village.

But something tells him that there's more to it than strengthening the relationship between the two villages. Maybe Uzushio holds something over them that he doesn't know yet? The possibilities are endless, and he would start exploring them right through the princess herself.

Sai only bows his head before turning around to walk away. He didn't even question Danzou or considered the slightest chance that he might be caught in the act.

He knows Sai would not fail him, so he just lets him be.

___

Naruto wakes up to the sound of chirping birds and their fluttering wings.

He blinks his eyes blearily to the dim sunlight streaming past the white curtains (his mother has a strange aversion for thick curtains, don't ask), and instantly decides to doze off again in the confines of his beloved, fluffy pillow, his arms wrapping tight around it...

Only for his face to meet a solid chest, his nose breathing in the faint scent of mint leaves and feeling the unmistakable steady beat of a heart by his fingertips. _Sasuke._

Naruto finds it extremely _arousing._

Only for him to register a second later that his ejaculatory escapades are on temporary hiatus, thank you very much.

It's a frustrating dilemma enough to  guarantee him a perfect excuse to push the person off him, future husband or not.

Hard.

He anticipates for a fist on his face or a deafening shout of indignation from an awakened Sasuke , but the only reaction he gets is the raven-haired man merely grunting in his sleep before rolling to his other side, consequently giving Naruto a fine view, despite the presence of a white linen shirt, of broad shoulders and  a slender back and-

Naruto would rather impale himself on a sword than ogle an Uchiha's ass. _Impale_ turns out to be a wrong choice of word, and tries valiantly to clear his head of various scenarios popping left and right...

No matter how round and firm and _so_ -

"Oh my God," he almost wails out in despair, because he is _not_ a pervert, especially not to vulnerable sleeping guys who'd probably kill him without a second thought. Damn it to hell, Sasuke _would_ kill him in his sleep.

This is what happens when a man hasn't jerk off for so long, and Naruto only wishes that his pitiful lack of sexual activity isn't palpable for anyone to notice and be privy to. It has been a sore spot for him these days, but luckily he isn't yet on the point of cumming right on the spot when someone just casually touches him .

But Naruto has been fancying a particular part of Sasuke's awhile ago, and deems his situation is probably worse than he initially thought.

Naruto almost dies on the spot as he sees dark eyes open to stare at him. "You're awake," is all he could say in his dumbfounded state.

"Should I clap for you doing such an _astute_ observation?" The corners of Sasuke's mouth turn up slightly as he speaks in a condescending manner.

Naruto rolls his eyes before sitting up. "You're not even conscious for a minute and yet here you are, already being a dick. What a good morning."

Sasuke just gives him a _is that the best you could do_ look before replying. "And your loud voice sounds lovely as usual. Good morning to you too." His dark eyes swivel towards the windows. "The birds and their _squawking_ has woke me up. Is it how you always wake in the morning?"

Instead of saying a decent answer like _yes, I'm already used to it_ , or _the birds don't squawk, honey_ , he gives out a jibe instead. "I hope they poop in your head or something." He thinks it as a fair enough punishment, because the sight of Sasuke in a perfect state even when he just woke up is truly _unjust,_ and is absolutely certain that no one will argue with him in that fact _._

Sasuke gives him a retort in a flash, as if it's already a formed reflex from years of personal experience. "And I hope they abduct you and your uncouth mouth."

Naruto remains grouchy as he makes himself  presentable before breakfast.

The only thing missing is Sasuke whistling a happy tune to completely ruin his day.

Just the thought of it terrifies Naruto shitless.

A knock cuts off his internal notions, and he walks off to pull open the heavy doors, expecting the usually stoic but pretty eyes of Neji to meet his own. But it is Kakashi who strides in, a blue mask so dark that it is almost black covering half of his face starting from the bridge of his nose downwards,  but not his amused expression as he notes Naruto's irritated countenance  and Sasuke sitting nonchalantly on the bed, guiltless of Naruto's brewing temper despite being the most  likely cause.

 It has always been a subject of Naruto's wonder,  how he could still read Kakashi's mostly-hidden face and the way it could still reveal so much emotion. The said man bows deeply, but only to his direction even if he is supposed to do the same for his future "husband". Sasuke doesn't seem to mind, though, and doesn't even point it out. Actually, he finds Sasuke not caring about stuff that he should be mindful of.

"You should get dressed for breakfast, Naruko-chan. Your parents are already expecting you to be there."

Naruto's mood visibly lightens at the prospect of food. "Sasuke, I think you've met him yesterday. This is Hatake Kakashi, the General of the main battalion." Sasuke only nods his head before standing up towards the armoire, probably to put on presentable clothes for breakfast.

"Where is Neji, by the way?" He turns to Sasuke, and even though the raven-haired man is looking elsewhere _and_ would probably be disinterested as to what he'll say next, his mouth gets the better of him, as it always does. "Neji's the captain of my personal guard. Usually he'll be the one accompanying me to breakfast, and to all sorts of activity, really." He could hear the anxiety trickling in his voice, but he pushes it aside. Neji would _be_ back, because he swore that he would, every single time that he gets a mission that requires his eyes' specialty. _Byakugan._

Sakura had done the same thing too before, but she only ended up-

He stops his thoughts before it could go downhill. He would _not_ go there. Not now.

"Neji would probably be back tomorrow at dusk. Or maybe even tomorrow morning, if he really pushes his limits," Kakashi remarks lightly, and Naruto knows the truth in those words. Neji does have that annoying tendency.

But Naruto likes him for that anyway.

____

After breakfast, Fugaku makes a strange request. "May I speak with you for awhile?" Naruto stills on his seat before motioning for Fugaku to continue. "In private." Fugaku hastily adds, looking at Kushina as he says it, as if silently asking for permission. His mother looks at him briefly before nodding at Danzou's direction.

Sasuke doesn't even spare him a glance as he stands up to leave, following Minato and Kushina out of the dining chamber with the maids and servants trailing behind. Once they were alone, Fugaku rises up from his seat and walks towards Naruto. "Are you feeling...alright?" It is a common enough query, but something in his tone suggests that he isn't expecting a _common enough_ answer. Naruto simply nods and is about to ask why is there a need for them to talk about mundane matters in close quarters when Fugaku cuts him off. "Are you sure?"

Nothing prepares him to the sight of swirling red eyes suddenly  boring down on him.

He couldn't move a muscle, seemingly caught in a trance from those eyes.

In a flash, he remembers the dream he had last night, as if he hadn't forgotten it at all. _You didn't forget it_ , a warning voice growls in the depths of his mind, sounding desperate. _It was just temporarily  hid-_

The last thought he has is how Fugaku's eyes seem different from the ones he had seen last night, quietly concluding that he hasn't dream of his future father-in-law's eyes, then.

_Whose eyes was it, then?_

____

Sasuke isn't one to be easily amazed, but his chest fills with wonder as he realizes how Uzushiogakure seemingly rose out from the depths of the sea, with a river spanning the whole  length of the village, connected by stone bridges and archways before them.

He doesn't want to forget this place.

The wind picks up as they walk, bringing with it the salty scent of the waters all around them. Even in his peripheral vision he could see patches of aquamarine blue, and he could hear the subtle sound of waves crashing against the shore even as the noise around them escalated into clamor as they reached the marketplace.

 _Oh god_. He looks at all the people present, each of them in a stall that looked personally designed since nothing resembles another, with various goods and wares ranging from amulets to homemade dishes lying on top of tables and shelves, and some are even placed  on mats down the concrete pavement. Everyone was moving about, flailing their arms and waving their hands to get a customer's attention .

But now most of it are on Naruko and him, and it makes Sasuke's skin bristle.

It has only been an hour after the royal family made the public announcement of Naruko's engagement alongside Sasuke and his parents. The plaza has been teeming with the biggest crowd he has seen, and from what he saw he had deduced that the people of Uzushio are friendlier than Konoha's and a lot more welcoming. Personal space seems not to be an issue as a small child touches the back of Kushina's hand, the guards just watching a few feet behind. The queen bends to her knees and places a kiss on the girl's forehead, and the child squeals in joy before walking back towards her mother's waiting arms. Minato bows to the girl's father before pulling Kushina back up to her feet, and proceeds to walk to the crowd and converse with them.

Right now they are on their way towards the central of the village, which he'd heard from one of the Queen's guard chirping excitedly, as "Point Zero." It is where the heart of the festivities lay, with long tables filled with all sorts of food imaginable. Meanwhile, Naruko is currently chatting nonstop with her cousin, a redhead whose name he already forgot from the moment she makes heart eyes at him. Naruko didn't seem to mind though, judging from the way she snickers at him before snaking her arm around her cousin's shoulders.

A small child rushes past him and stops just behind Naruko, his stubby little fingers grabbing hold of Naruko's shimmering kimono at the back. Naruko, thank _heavens_ , has ceased her talking upon noticing and is now looking at the young boy in front of her before kneeling down so that their eyes are almost on the same level. "What is it, little one?"

Sasuke could see the back of the child's ears turning an alarming shade of red with her intense gaze, and it takes a full minute before the boy manages to pull out a flower crown from the bag hanging loosely behind his back, rising on his tiptoes as he places it on top of Naruko's head with shaking fingers.

She looks so like much her mother then, Sasuke thinks, as he sees Naruko smiles her brightest smile at him and kisses his forehead before standing up. The dandelion flowers suited the bright color of her hair. 

Generally he doesn’t find an ounce of attraction for girls, not even with their soft voice and gentle curves and floral-scented hairs. But right now Naruko looks absolutely _divine,_ and he couldn’t help but stay rooted to the spot. _I wonder if it’s because of her smile and the way it made her look so much like him._

He feels the beat of his heart stutter a second late as he sees those _eyes_ suddenly in front of him _._ "Let's go Sasuke, I'm famished!" Naruko whines before pulling him by the arm, her cousin watching them with a gleeful expression on her face as the three of them walk together. 

Sasuke lets her pull him along, not minding where they'll go, just as long as he could keep on looking at the girl who he could mistake for as _him_.

 _I wonder what she’ll do if I ask her to smile for me. Just so I could catch just a glimpse of him again._ It doesn't make him guilty at all, not even for a little bit.

____

Naruko is an entertainment to behold as she eats.

Sasuke continues to stare as she happily empties the contents of her ceramic bowl, her eyes already taking in the delectable-looking dish laid in front of her as her focal point. Karin (Sasuke finds out her name when Naruko mentioned it at leadt thirty times within his vicinity) must've seen her cousin eyeing it, because the redhead giggles and raves on about the said food after finishing her own plate. "You should try that _Gambas al Ajillo_ , it tastes superb!" She gets a helping of the juicy shrimps layered with olive oil and garlic, placing it carefully on Naruko's waiting bowl.

Naruko doesn't wait as she attacks the food with gusto. She lets outs a moan on the first bite. "Fuck yeah!"

Sasuke couldn't hold back his mirth from Naruko's apparent over-enthusiasm. "It's such a turn-on to see my would-be wife having a bigger appetite than mine."

Naruko chokes at his words (or maybe it is the food), her head turning a pretty shade of red. _Entertainment indeed_. From several seats down, Kushina sends her daughter a worried glance, but Sasuke sees Kakashi wave off her concern with a lazy flick of a hand. She reluctantly turns back to her husband and to the guests in front of them.

"How dare-" The rest of Naruko's speech ceases  as Sasuke raises a glass of cool water in her direction.

She just eyes him skeptically. "I'd rather trust Kakashi be on time for our next meeting, and that's saying something." Sasuke rolls his eyes, both at the expense of Naruko and at Kakashi feigning a hurt expression. He finds it being done more and more in her presence alone, and already he finds it a hobby waiting to be fully ingrained in his system. "Fine. Just carry on with your choking." But before he could pull his hand away , strong fingers encircle his wrist.

He doesn't particularly take it into liking when a person barges into his personal space and touch him. But the pressure on the underside of his wrist, right where he is sure Naruko could feel his heart beating on her fingertips, makes him reevaluate his life decisions so far.

It doesn't feel bad at all, and it doesn't urge him to flee or slap the hand away.

Sasuke pushes the glass to her grasp, watching as she tilts her head back, the tan expanse of her bare neck making his chest _ache_ with want, but not for this woman.

He couldn't take it anymore, seeing her and then seeing _him_ in turn. It's all too much, but still never enough.

He abruptly stands up and walks away from the table, not bothering to offer any reason for his unexpected leave. 

Naruko doesn't stop him.

____

"I had too much drama for the day," Kakashi remarks remorsefully, but his sharp eyes are assessing the blond in front of him. Probing.

Naruto just looks away and continues to eat in silence, not mindful of everyone's question as to where Sasuke went. _There's nothing to see_ , his blank face seems to say, and smiles at them for good measure.

Then why does Kakashi have a feeling that his favorite pupil is hiding something from him?

And from everyone else?

____

Dusk has already painted the sky a lovely shade of purple and blue but Sasuke is nowhere to be found.

Mikoto has already apologized to Naruto thrice, saying that her son might not be feeling well and isn't one to admit that he's sick out loud.

They both know it isn't the reason, but Naruto lets her lie. The people believed it anyways, offering their earnest _get well soon_ for Sasuke. He feels a gentle tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a beautiful girl with midnight blue hair cascading down her back and eyes as pretty as the moon. "Hinata!" he exclaims before pulling her towards him in a tight hug.

Hinata finds it awkward, and it might be due to the fact that she isn't used to Naruto's body being soft and curvy like a girl's. She looks at him closely before letting out a hearty laugh because she finds Naruto still attractive, no matter what gender.

How do you tell your best friend that you're in love with him?

She knows it for as long as she could remember, for as long as she'd known him. Sometimes it felt like she'd already loved him from a past life, because sometimes when he looks at her the feeling would fill her from the inside out, and she almost hopes that Naruto would see her feelings radiate out for him.

But she also knows Naruto like the back of her hand, and despite her highly-respected status as the heiress of the Main House of Hyuuga, she has her own insecurities to deal with, like having to take Sakura's place and being her cousin's temporary replacement when he's away for a mission. She knows that Naruto doesn't think of her like that, but she still couldn't find the answer to the question that has been bugging her for nearly as long as she loves him. _Who am I to you, Naruto?_

She wants to ask now, as she feels the time slipping past her fingers. She knows it's over before it could even start, but she couldn't find the courage to do so. He remembers Neji asking her one time when they were alone, bone-tired from practicing the Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four palms. _Is it love if you couldn't even fight for him?_ She could still hear the anger in his tone, even now.

It was also the night she realized why Neji practiced harder than anyone, pushed himself harder than the others. How his eyes would seem lighter everytime they talked about Naruto, and the way his shoulder stiffened when she told him one time that she’s in love with Naruto.  _I want to protect him. I'll do it with my life ._ It’s his own way of saying _idiot, I'm in love with you._ But never did he admit it to Naruto, and she suspects that it might be out of respect for her as the daughter of the head of their clan, and she didn't know whether to feel sorry or relieved for that.

 _I'm sorry Neji-kun. For the both of us._ "Where is Sasuke? The fireworks show would start in a few minutes." The slight slip in Naruto's smile doesn't escape her notice, but she doesn't point it out. "Is he even sick at all?" She hasn't seen Naruto's fiance since she just came that afternoon from a week-long mission with Hanabi, and even though she needs rest she needed to see Naruto more, so she decides to make an appearance on tonight's event.

"I don't really care, Hinata." He doesn't look at her as he says it. "Not at all."

____

Naruto feels a flicker of warmth on his side, but he doesn't bother to take a look.

He knows it's Sasuke.

Up ahead, colors keep on bursting apart, one after another, the exploding sounds ringing in his ears. There is certain beauty in its breaking-

 _No one breaks as beautifully as you, little one_.

Naruto's insides turn to ice. He glances around, searching the source of that menacing voice even though he knows it isn't from anyone here. He hears it again as he spins around to Sasuke, the Uchiha prince's face turned up in the sky and the lights catching the ebony strands of his hair and his skin as pale as porcelain .

 _You love it when I break you_. His breath comes out in shallow gasps, and black spots starts appearing on the edges of his vision.

He reaches a hand out to Sasuke, but biting his tongue to keep himself from asking help.

Sasuke turns to him without having to say a word though, as if he heard it in the silence anyways.

____

Sasuke, feeling eyes upon him, turns around only to catch the pain-stricken expression of his fiancé. His chest incomprehensibly lurches at the guilt stubbornly clawing at his insides from the moment he walked out on her hours ago. _Why would I feel ashamed?  You're just a girl I'm forced to marry._

He came right on time for the fireworks display, and Naruko looked so eager for the event that she hasn't sensed him come near to her. A pretty girl was beside her as well, her face turned up at the sky, her eyes expectant and a wide smile plastered on her face.

A small part of him keeps on insisting that it isn't her fault. _She's done nothing to you ._ Like him, she is bound by the law to marry out of alliance for the sake of her village, leaving love out of the picture. But Naruko doesn't seem adamant at the forced arrangement, even though  the terms in their contract explicitly stated that she will submit herself under Sasuke, without question and without fail, or else Konohagakure will sever the tremulous tie with her village. _Uzushio._ With the war looming in the near future and threats constantly being thrown at Kushina's village, the Uchiha clan knows that the Queen couldn't afford to lose a formidable ally at such a time, so they have no choice but to abide by their terms .

The only merit to be gained from it is that it will be kept in confidentiality, since Uzushiogakure is a matriarchal society. _Then what is this for then?_ He remembers asking his father. _Why the need to submit herself under my power if it's kept in secret?_ He didn't voice out his other questions. _Why would the queen do this? How could she agree on this?_

And the most pressing one _. What do you plan to do, father?_

He knew there's more to it, judging from the way Fugaku simply remained silent at his queries.

The only reason he could come of is that it's a way to keep Uzushio within their leash. _But for what?_

He decides not to care about any of it the same day his father told him he would be married and the strange arrangement agreed on both sides. His father didn't even bothered to inform him beforehand of this, seemingly confident enough that Sasuke would simply accept once the news was laid down upon him.

As if he wasn’t offering his son’s hand in marriage, and his future along with it.

Just like he hadn't requested for Sasuke's opinion on erasing his own memories of _him_. 

He had forgotten, but only for a short while. Maybe it was because of his sharingan eyes developing. He woke up one night to the sight of Mangekyou in the mirror in front of him and his eyes dripping wet with blood but with no memory of what triggered it. He had seen it on Itachi and Shisui, but to have it on your own felt a lot more different than he expected.

It was like shedding a new skin, revealing a new identity. 

That was also the night he first caught a sliver of _him_ \- ocean blue eyes brimming with happiness. 

He had heaved from the memory of it, and along with it an intense feeling had overwhelmed him to his core. _I know you._

The little details came in bits and pieces as the weeks went by.

He hasn't told anyone of it, even to his brother, whom he trusts more than himself. But Itachi has also betrayed him by approving of his father's plans in erasing his memories, and then this sorry excuse of a marriage. He felt a greater amount of resentment at Shisui for even doing this to him. _You were supposed to be my brothers. I was supposed to look up at the both of you, but look at what you’ve done._

It was also unheard of, someone reversing Shisui's infamous jutsu. _Komoamatsukami_. Just remembering its name sends a bile down his throat.

It slowly ruined his relationship with the both of them.

They want him to forget for reasons unknown to him, but Sasuke doesn't want to. He will fight for it.

Even though he couldn't remember _his_ name, not even when _his_ face and _his_ voice and _his_ tears and _his_ laughter were all seared in his mind, to the point that _he_ was all he could think of all the time.

He could not fathom why _his_ name does not make itself known to Sasuke. It's one of the most crucial details and yet he couldn't get a hold of it.

But he loses his train of thought as he sees Naruko sway on her feet before slumping towards him.

___

His father's reminder escaped him throughout the day. " _You might find your fiance a little bit...nauseous. Be sure to keep a close watch on her."_

From across the door, Sasuke could hear the retching sounds coming from Naruko. He lays his forehead on the door and closes his eyes, torn in making a decision.

Sasuke knew he shouldn't care, not at all, but he admits the truth to himself _. I see him in her ._ He holds no power over Naruko's effortlessly eliciting emotions out of him, from annoyed to angry to happy in a span of a minute, just as he was once with _him_. Because all he felt for _him_ is love, and he knows that he has no one to compare it to be sure of what he feels, but what else could he possibly feel for that person?

_But why is it like this with Naruko, too?_

His body makes the decision for him as his hand turns the handle to open the door.

____

He saves the eyes for the last.

It lies in his palms of his hands, all bloody and deformed, but he still  finds it surreally beautiful. The lilac irises stood out even from the mess, and his heart pangs with regret.

But only for a second.

Unadulterated enjoyment floods his veins as the feel of those same eyes crushes under his grip into an unrecognizable mass. He looks down at the body below him, and comes to a conjecture that no harm would come his way if he sits on it.

"I hope my little kitsune likes my little present for him."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God I wish I could update sooner T.T And I think you know who died, right? *hugs Naruto* KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING, I LIVE FOR IT HEHE ;)
> 
> P.S Point Zero does exist!!! One of the most notable ones is in Paris, France.


	4. Caveat for the Living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A certain line in this chapter is from the song “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD, can you guess what it is? ;) The first time I heard it, I was like “Oh God this is Sasuke in my story” lmao. Normally that kind of song isn’t my cup of tea but something about it just resonated within me…
> 
>  
> 
> Oh well too much for that, on to the story !!

Sasuke wakes up to an empty bed that night. It has been the second time that Naruko had disappeared into thin air in the middle of the night, and he probably would continue keeping count of nights like this.

The dream is still fresh on his mind, lingering long enough for him to know that it has been the very same dream he had last night.

“ _Sasuke_ ,” a pained voice had shouted, and suddenly _he_ was there, looking at him _,_ the sunny smile that he held dearly in the deepest confines of his heart wiped out from _his_ face, replaced by an anguished expression that made Sasuke’s chest ache. “ _You said you’ll do anything for me, right?”_

_You make my heart break, you make my heart ache._

The answer came to Sasuke just as easily as if it was his own name that was being asked. “ _Of course. If it’s for you._ ”

Then there it was again, that lovely smile that made Sasuke want to start wars for, but it was tainted with something else.

Something darker.

“ _Then_ _kill me_ ,” _he_ begged, and fell down on _his_ knees, tan face hidden behind luminous blond hair. All Sasuke could hear then was _his_ sobs.He wanted to say “ _Not that. Anything but that._ ” But Sasuke already found his hand grabbing the front of that hideous orange jacket that _he_ always wore-it was almost as bright as _his_ eyes, _his_ hair, _his_ smile, _his_ everything, really- and with his free hand, drove lightning through _his_ chest, the sound of chidori ringing in his ears. 

It was the feel of blood pooling in his shaking fingers that woke him up both times.

Last night he wondered if it wasn’t a dream at all, but a memory. Something real, something that he really committed.

He feels his stomach turn. It scares him more than he thought it would.

He loosens his fingers, having made a tight fist unconsciously, feeling his hands a little colder than it normally would be. He closes his eyes and tries to grasp at anything that might pull him out from the sinking despair he feels.

That thing turns out to be one of his most favorite recollections of the man whose name remains elusive, and the one who has his heart. 

 _"Your fingers are always chillingly cold,"_ a wisp of a voice from a distant memory tickles at the back of Sasuke’s mind. But a warm palm had wrapped around his own, and though his hand never warmed from the contact no matter how long _he_ had held Sasuke, not once had _his_ tight grip on him slipped. "But I love it. You and your perfect hands." And then the dobe had put their entangled hands  inside the pocket of his bright orange jacket. The pair of them probably looked ridiculous, and his hand felt a little sweaty later on, and the dobe had calluses on his fingers and it felt a little rough, but the skin of _his_ wrist was so _soft_ and he could feel the blonde's heartbeats matching his own, and Sasuke considered it as his greatest discovery.

Sasuke could still remember how wide his smile had been that day.

That made him certain that his dream is indeed just a dream, and nothing more. There was just something lacking about it, and it didn’t bring him the usual recognition that would flood him once he discovers a new memory from the past.

It has also been two days since they'd gotten word of Naruko's captain of the guard's untimely demise. It was the day after their public announcement made in the plaza regarding the upcoming wedding.

The day he fell in love with Uzushiogakure, had seen and felt the warmth from each and every one of its people, even though Sasuke isn't one of them, not really. 

It was also the day after he  took care of Naruko on his own free will that night, compelled by a strange sort of attraction that stemmed from her likeness with _him_ . The dobe had a strong stamina and a stronger immune system though, and from all the times Sasuke had seen him (or from what he could remember in his memories),  Sasuke had never seen _him_ ill.

It has been a quiet breakfast, Fugaku side-eyeing him the whole time and his mother giving him a gentle smile once in a while , when Kakashi made his way across the dining room, and trailing behind him was a regal man in black robe, with waist-long dark hair. The said man curtsied to Naruko first, before reaching her parents at the far end of the table and did the same. "Hiashi, this is rather a surprise." Kushina turns to Kakashi, but the silver-haired man had said nothing. She sends her attention back to the visitor. "I know you're fully aware of how the system works around here, so this must be of utmost importance."

Hiashi's back was on Sasuke, and he couldn't see the man's face, but there was something about him that looked a little... _off._ After what felt like eternity, Hiashi spoke, never lifting his head as he delivered the news in a deep, gravelly voice. 

Sasuke heard the sound of breaking glass and then Naruko's voice as she gasped out _Neji,_ too stunned to even cry at the mention of his gruesome death. She stumbled out of her seat and pushed past Hiashi and from everyone else, the door shutting behind her in a loud _thud_.

Sasuke found her half an hour later on the Hyuuga compound, having followed Minato and Hiashi. _Go with them,_ his father advised as Kushina began arranging the details of Neji's burial ceremony with Hiashi.

But he didn't went along with them just because his father had ordered him to.

They went inside the household, their footsteps echoing loudly across the marble floors. They only met a few people along the way, probably house servants from the looks of it, before reaching the end of a corridor with double brass doors. Minato looks at him for a second before turning back to Hiashi, and asked for permission to go inside. Hiashi nods silently, and pushes the doors open to reveal the slender back of Naruko upon them, standing beside a petite girl with hair so dark that it was almost blue. Sasuke recognized her as the girl that Naruko went with on the fireworks show.

They made their way towards the pair hunched over the body laid on a massive table at the center of the room, smelling of antiseptic and something that felt stingy in his eyes. _Formaldehyde_.  Sasuke went past the table and moved across where Naruko was standing, and even from the other side of the table he could discern the emotions of his fiance.

Warring grief and anger were written all over her face.

She must've noticed them coming in, though she gave no indication of it, because she spoke a minute later. "Where's Tsunade baa-chan?" Her voice was far different from her usual cheery, loud voice, and its cold tone rang loudly in his ears as she continued. "Is she already informed of what happened?"

Hiashi reached out a hand to his son's marred face, trailing his fingers gently over the empty eye sockets. "Kushina told one your servants to get her shortly after you left. She should be here any minute now."

He hears the sharp intake of Naruko's friend. "Even the smallest chakra pathways have been severed." The veins disappeared from the skin around her eyes, leaving only lavender irises wet with unshed tears. "Whoever did this would have eyes with the same ability as ours or-" she paused for a while to look at him, "would possess the Sharingan."

Naruko raised her head up to fix hr gaze on him too, the depths of her blue eyes inscrutable. "It's highly unlikely for a Byakugan user to slaughter his own blood clan and to take his eyes too." She tilts her head to the side before adding, "and the same goes for the Uchiha clan, Hinata. They have no qualms with the Hyuugas. Nothing that I know of."

Sasuke remains silent for awhile, arranging his thoughts swirling with every possibility. It looked like a warning. An omen. _The war is indeed coming for them. For Uzushio_. Finally, he decided to direct his answer to Hiashi, who was watching him with hawk-like eyes."Most of our men are stationed within Konoha, busy on making preparations for the wedding. And my father wouldn't get any benefit from killing one of your men, especially if I’m about to be tied down here.”

Minato decides to intervene. " Fugaku and Mikoto were confined within the our premises the night of the incident. Kushina's sealing wards would attest to that. And of course, let's put into consideration the experts in the chakra control and manipulation."

“Like a medical ninjutsu user.” All heads swiveled around towards the sound of a woman’s voice. She stood in the doorway, blond hair a shade lighter than Naruko tied into two ponytails, but what caught his attention was the diamond-shaped mark that stood proudly on her forehead. Her heels clacked against the linoleum floor as she walked towards them, her hazel eyes intensely focused on Neji’s body. “The chakra pathways weren’t severed. They were burned because of chakra overload.” She stopped beside Naruko, who stiffened at her words.

Even in Konohagakure, Tsuande Senju’s unparalled skill and intelligence in the practice of medical ninjutsu were markedly known and was hailed as the greatest medical-nin up throughout the Land of Fire until now. But the legends didn’t stop there. It was said that she mastered the art and science of chakra and the means to control it, permitting her inhuman strength and a gift for healing. She had paved the way for the improvement of medical ninjutsu and had even invented a regeneration technique that made her immortal in battle once activated.  This proved to be invaluable during the second great war, where she and her two other teammates have been bestowed the tile of "The Legendary Sannins" for being the lone survivors in Amegakure.

“Is it because of his own chakra?” He heard Naruko asked in a small voice, her normally glowing tan face already an unhealthy shade of pallid. Her right hand was on Neji’s, holding tighter with each passing second.

Tsunade reaches out a hand wrapped around with chakra in a distinct hue of green, putting it on top of Neji’s forehead. “I can’t be certain until I do a full autopsy on his body. From what I can see, there are traces of foreign chakra in his system, but it’s too weak and few in quantity to be properly identified.” Tsunade pauses for a while. “I think it has been intentionally suppressed to be undetectable.” She bangs her free hand on top of the table, and cracks began to appear on its polished surface.

“Is there a team ready to be dispatched to capture the culprit behind this?” Naruko’s eyes grew distant, but they never left the dead man lying before her. “I want to personally select the members of that team and be its captain.”

A surprised gasp escaped from Hinata’s mouth. “Naruko, surely you won’t go that far-“

But it must be the wrong thing to say, because his fiance’s attention snaps back to her, her jaw clenched tight with barely-restrained anger. “You should know me by now, Hinata.”

Minato placed a wary hand on Naruko’s shoulder, trying to gain her attention. “Surely you are aware of your duties, Naruko.” Minato seemed to think twice about what he wanted to say. “Now that you’re engaged and preparations for your wedding has begun, you’re not allowed to leave Uzushio, especially for missions that would possibly endanger your life.”

This time, it’s him that was the focus of Naruko’s eyes, the blue orbs holding nothing but pain and fury in its depths.

She looked like she wanted to murder everyone in the room.

“Then I’ll cut off the engagement. I have only asked one favor from you before, and today will be the last. Let me go, Father.” Her voice cracked at the last word, and her whole frame was shaking as she pleaded.

Minato gripped her shoulder. It was the first time Sasuke saw the gentle, carefree Minato ran out of temper. He looked like a King. “Are you saying you’re about to put your personal interests above Uzushio’s?” He moves his grip to make Naruko face him. “That is outright treason, and future queen or not no one is above the law.”

Sasuke saw a tear fell from the corner of her eyes and streaked down the side of her face, her mouth open in a silent cry. “Not again, I can’t lose anyone anymore-“   

It happened all of a sudden. One moment she was just standing there with her father consoling her, and then the next there was a red chakra enveloping her whole form, a part of it with the shape of a tail appearing from her behind.

Sasuke’s eyes itched to swirl red, but remembered that he shouldn’t reveal his mangyekou to anyone. He couldn’t afford his father to know this, or else he would be able to connect the dots and his plan to find _him_ will fail.

Her eyes were still blue, though, and she was looking right at him. Sasuke couldn’t decipher what she was trying to say to him.

_Are you even saying anything to me?_

“Sasuke!” Minato bellowed from her side, a hint of panic at his voice as his hands performed seals while Tsunade grabbed hold of Naruko in a vise-like grip. Hinata was backed up to the door, with Hiashi in front of her. “Go get your father, NOW!”

The walls at the far back of the room came crashing down in an instant after Minato’s command, sending up a cloud of smoke everywhere. He heard Kushina’s shrill cry followed by Fugaku’s curse  as the two went nearer to where Sasuke was standing at.

“Where’s her necklace?” Tsunade remarked angrily, the skin of her arms beginning to blister from contact with the red chakra around Naruko. “I thought I made it clear that it should be worn at all times.”  

Kushina didn’t answer. Instead, adamantine chains that seemed to materialize out of nowhere flew past her outstretched fingers, wrapping itself around Naruko’s body. Only then did Tsunade let go, stumbling back and quickly healing herself. Minato’s hand was on Naruko’s abdomen, still covered in cloth but the fabric was already stained with something dark. _Is it blood or something else ?_ Hiashi watched the scene with wary eyes, while Hinata had a hand over her mouth, fear evident in her pale eyes.

Sasuke was in no better shape, had done nothing but to just gape uselessly as the spectacle unfolded right before his eyes.

It didn’t escape his notice that Naruko's blue eyes suddenly went glassy and out of focused.

The red chakra began to dissipate, starting from the tip of Naruko’s fingers and up her arms, leaving a trail of burned flesh in its wake. He heard Naruko shouting in agony as it further edged to the center of her abdomen. She lost consciousness by the end of it, slumping down her father’s arms. He could still hear Kushina weeping.

She had all Sasuke’s undivided attention that he hadn’t notice Fugaku’s sharingan eyes swirling red upon Naruko. 

It had been the longest minute of Sasuke’s life.

From then on he had slept two nights in a row with the scene imprinted in his mind, and it even managed to catch him in his sleep.

It has been the main reason why Sasuke haven’t told them that he felt a pull of chakra from inside Neji’s body, calling out his own to resurface.

That only meant one thing.

Only an Uchiha’s chakra would resonate with another one of its own.  

 _Why would an Uchiha be behind this?_  

He doesn’t know when would be the appropriate time to tell his discovery, or to whom.

He slips off the thick blankets, feet padding gently down the carpeted floor as he makes his way out the door. It is well past midnight, but the walls are interspersed with lighted candlesticks, giving off luminous light and a citrus scent hanging in the air he breathes as he strides down the hall.

To where, he doesn’t have any inkling of an idea.

The velvet curtains of the floor-to-ceiling windows are drawn to the sides, giving view of the slumbering city and the vast ocean surrounding it. He stops for a while to take a good look, and suddenly he remembers Naruko’s previous request and the way she shyly asked him of it, eyes downcast and cheeks blushing. “ _Come with me to the ocean tomorrow_.”

He had refused at that time, unsaid words ringing in the space between them. _I don’t want to because it reminds me of his eyes_ . _But in the end, I’d still like to see it and I don’t know how to tell you that._  

But now, maybe he would.

Sasuke would tell her so if only he could see her _now_. 

——

Naruto’s slender arms (it is _Naruko’s_ goddamnit) burned from so much strain and fatigue, but he still keeps on swinging his _Bokken_ towards the helpless wooden mannequin that stood before him, already reduced more than half its original form. The past few days have plagued him with a desire to strip off his jutsu and just be on his true self, because he missed the strength and power that came naturally with it. 

Not that Naruko is in a bad shape or anything. In fact, she has toned arms and legs unfit for royalty and more for fighting on the warfront, and if anyone has a keen eye they would notice the subtle grace and agility that she possessed every time she moves, and the way she would be always at the edge of her seat, as if anticipating an attack that might occur anytime. She has adequate knowledge with medical ninjutsu and quite adept in forming seals (thanks to rigorous training sessions with both his mother and Tsunade baa-chan), and can be a formidable opponent at swordsmanship, making up for his poor aim at archery.

He could feel the wind teasing his fingertips, as if taunting him to be put into use. But he keeps his affinity for it at bay, and instead vents out his frustration through physical exertion. _I couldn’t take risks. Especially not now._

It had been put in the terms of the contract he’d signed before. He couldn’t deduce as to why his mother didn’t like for the Uchihas to get ahold of the information that he could control the air element, which felt as naturally as breathing for him, or his _other_ abilities.

Sometimes Naruto could even feel it inside him, and right now it is a vortex of spinning anger, tearing him from inside and waiting to leak out from his system, burning everything in its path.

Using any kind of weapon is also strongly discouraged for him, but Sasuke had already seen him wielding out his tanto once, and so it doesn’t scare him if the Uchiha prince would suddenly waltz in and see him holding a sword right now.

He feels like molded into a weak and submissive soon-to-be-queen and wife in the eyes of the raven-haired prince, and it sparks his competitive streak and grates at his wounded pride. He wanted to prove him wrong, wanted him to see that he is actually a man and that he is powerful, too. That it is all just a fucking lie for something that he didn’t have any clue as to what for.

His train of thoughts halts as he feels another one’s chakra not too far away. He knows without doubt that it belongs to Sasuke.

He doesn’t know why Sasuke’s chakra feels already so familiar to him like it is his own, as if he had spent years memorizing the feel of it, and he doesn’t have a clue either as to why it strikes something inside of him, something hot and burning with pure want and greedy need for this man he barely knows.

But right now his shallow feelings isn’t enough to diminish his current state of agony. _Neji._ It was the name that both his mind and heart keeps on chanting at him, the name that’s beating on his veins and flowing in his blood, reminding him that every minute he is alive is the same minute that Neji remains dead. And would always be like that, unmoving and devoid of life.

 _Neji_.

Naruto stabs the end of his sword right through the figurine’s chest, unconsciously infusing the sharp blade with chakra. The wooden mannequin comes crashing down in a heap, and his sparring sword snaps in half before falling down as well.

Naruto doesn’t move even though he could feel eyes on his back, and even when Sasuke decides to break the silence. “Bokken is a two-handed sword. But it seems to me that you’re perfectly at ease with using it on your left hand alone.”

He takes a deep breath through his nose. He couldn’t find it in himself to think of a reply, let alone be in the mood to _talk_. Screw Sasuke and everyone and what they will assume of him. He is tired and all he wants to do is to save Neji, to bring him back with a beating heart and with those fierce lavender eyes.

And Sakura, too. _Sakura, have you seen him yet there, wherever you are? Is he well?_

_Is he mad at me? Or you are?_

He thought losing her had prepared him for the worst, but this pain was on another level, opening up a closed wound that never fully healed. Misery has been a constant companion when she died, but it had been more of a shadow that he could manage not to look at as time flew by. It had been too easy to hide with a forced smile. She had been his best friend, and he had been her walking punching bag. She was his personal medic-nin, and with it came incessant nagging and overreactions everytime he got minor injuries. But he never had feelings for her that transcended past platonic friendship, even though she was one of the women he admire greatly for their looks and skills.

There was a time when he had asked himself if he had come to like Neji, in a sense that was more than friendship and duty. Neji is the most beautiful man Naruto has ever seen, with his flowing ebony hair and moon eyes and milky white skin. But what attracted him more past his physical beauty was the way Neji carried himself, like he was always sure of winning, like he would get anything if he wanted to. Neji was determined to show that even though he wasn’t in the main house of Hyuuga, that didn’t mean he would limit himself. He worked harder than anyone else, pushed harder until he would break. Neji was always so much _more_ , and this intensity for self-improvement has captivated Naruto immensely.

Maybe he has a thing for arrogant, confident men.

Naruto jumps at the feel of a cold hand on his shoulder, and he moves out of reach as he turns around. “Are you dumb or what? Can’t you see I’m busy?” He couldn’t look into those eyes that might tear the truth and all of his fears and doubts out of him.

Sasuke has those kind of eyes, the ones that make you feel like it could peel off your layers until all that’s left is your core, your soul, your very being.

“I could train with you. I know how to use a sword.”

He couldn’t help but meet his eyes then. Sasuke has this way of surprising him at every turn, as if one moment he’s so sure that he knew Sasuke, or at least understood a part of him, only to end up realizing that he was incredibly wrong.

“Just go back to bed. It’s past midnight and I don’t want to ruin your beauty sleep or something,” Naruto mumbles silently, and fiddles with his hands because that’s what _Naruko_ would do.

“You and your dirty mouth, Naruko.” The way Sasuke says it doesn’t sound an insult though, only laced with a hint of exasperation and...but Naruto stops himself. He doesn’t want to think about it now, not at all. “I searched for you because I wanted to. I assure you, I’m not being forced to be here.”

“Oh” is the only word that Naruto can articulate, because what else can he say to _that?_

Sasuke makes his way on the other side of the room, the vast walls lined with rows of katanas and bokkens and daggers and everything that is sharp and pointed. “I haven’t had anyone close to me that is dead yet, so maybe I couldn’t really know what you’re feeling.” Sasuke trails the tips of his fingers across the surface of another _Bokken_ mounted on the wall. _Cold fingers_ , Naruto’s idle mind helpfully supplies. _Colder than the winter frost on December nights._

Before he could think much more about his errant thought, Sasuke goes on. “But I lost someone.” He picks up the sword and weighs it on the palm of his right hand. “My most precious person.” Sasuke’s voice, always sturdy and never shaking, breaks a little at the last word.

_My most precious person._

Naruto’s heart beats uncontrollably fast at his admission, his chest holding another sort of pain, another form of ache.

_Why?_

_Why am I feeling this way?_

“I’m sorry,” Naruto finds himself saying. He knows little of Sasuke, but he is certain that the man isn’t the type to be like this frequently, open and laid out for him to be seen.

_How many secrets can you keep?_

“How funny.” Sasuke has this smile on his face, but it is a little twisted on the sides to be genuine. “He would say the same, if he is here.” He turns around to gaze at Naruto then, black eyes intense. He seems to be torn about doing something, and so Naruto just lets him be.

It is what _Naruko_ is supposed to do, anyway. Not impatiently ask or demand what it is about.

Sometimes he loathes Naruko with every bit of himself. It’s like hating his reflection in the mirror, because _Naruko_ is him, just as much as Naruto is.

It looks like Sasuke has made up his mind, because he is now twirling the handle of the sword in his grasp. “When you practice, do you really have to be on that...attire?” His eyes roam the length of his body, _Naruko’s_ body, but it holds no lust , just mild interest. 

Naruto adjusts the grip on his _Bokken_. “I guess I was a bit carried away to wear it tonight. And it’s a little, uhm, revealing for you since you aren’t from here, but this is the standard royal gear and it has been mine for the past 3 years.” It consists of knee-high white boots with dark stockings that reaches his thighs, a dainty red cravat wrapped around his neck, a cropped top with plate armor on the shoulder region, a matching skirt and white gauntlets with gold plating. A red cape would complete the look but she only wears it on special occasions, and if granted permission, when she’s in battle.

Yeah, too much accessories and too little clothing, Tsunade baa-chan has the grandest one, mind you.

“I see,” is all Sasuke says, and his ebony eyes are back on his face again. _Naruko’s_ pretty little face. “Let’s do this then, shall we?”

He is about to bow down but Sasuke beats him to it, the black locks glinting under the fluorescent lights. For a moment Naruto just stares at the crown of jet black hair and at the exposed milky white of the nape of his neck, stupefied beyond belief. _Sasuke,_ he almost screams, _this isn’t what the contract entails you to do._ It is all he could think of as he finds the upper half of his body involuntarily bending forward, albeit slowly and more gracefully.

Half a minute passes, and he finds himself face to face with an impassive Sasuke, though his dark eyes are intensely focused on him.

Girl or not, Naruto isn’t one for patience and subtlety, and so he makes the first move, lunging forward with the bokken slicing through the air and towards his opponent.

Only to be met by a solid blow from Sasuke’s bokken, and the force of it almost sends Naruto toppling backwards. He puts chakra on his feet to help him hold his ground as Sasuke pushes onwards, the edge of his bokken crossing the length of Naruto’s own weapon.

Sasuke tries to outmaneuver his defence, but Naruto’s feet are steady on the ground and his hold doesn’t falter . His body doesn’t even move an inch, because if he does he knows he’ll be dead meat.

“You’re far stronger than any girl I’ve met,” Sasuke comments, his eyes glinting and his lips upturned in the corners, as if he’s about to smile. 

Naruto beats him to it, his own lips forming an easy wide grin. “I assure you Sasuke. I’m not, in any way,  like any ordinary _girl_.” And with the remaining strength he has, he puts in force and shoves his bokken forward. But Sasuke’s feet are nimble, and he sidesteps to the far right before he could be caught by the bokken’s pointy edge.

Sasuke fights him like he doesn’t give a damn if _Naruko’s_ a girl, as if she is his equal and an opponent worthy of his time. 

Naruto feels unbreakable, and it momentarily liberates him from thoughts of Neji. He could only think about the sensual grace that exuded from Sasuke’s movements, his agile twists and turns, his precise jabs and thrusts.

Adrenaline makes Naruto heady, and it only pushes him more to best Sasuke. 

He’ll be damned to the seventh circle of hell if he loses to an Uchiha. 

——

“Come with me to the oceans tomorrow,” Sasuke says in a rush, feeling the syllables roll on top of one another in his tongue. His inner self almost groans in frustration because _damn it,_ he won’t bother mentioning it again in case Naruko didn’t get it on the first try.

Naruko wipes the bead of sweat on the arch of her brow as she answers him. “Why the sudden change of mind?” She doesn’t look at him as she asks him this.

Sasuke already expected the question beforehand, but he dreads it the most anyway. 

It is one of the many reasons why he has been hesitant to do this, but seeing her so determined to outmatch him, to prove herself to him, or whatever personal reason it is, Sasuke finds her worthy for him to undergo this...agony.

He’d never done this before.

He’d always been a man who did things with full certainty, because he always knows what he wants and what he doesn’t like, and to get it without fail. _“You’re always so sure of yourself and what you believe in. Like nothing shakes you, as if no one would say otherwise_.” Itachi told him one time while he’s practicing shurikenjutsu with his left hand. As if he needed more honing and polishing in that particular skill when it’s already beyond perfection.

There’s no such thing as perfect for Uchiha Itachi.

 _“Someday Sasuke, you’ll meet someone who’ll move you in ways you couldn’t even imagine. And I wish that in a good way, otouto_.” The last shuriken went flying, right through the bullseye.

Itachi has been looking at him the entire time, and it was that fact that stuck to him more than the actual words he’d said that day.

And then fate came barreling right at Sasuke in the shape of a hollering, loud blond, and the moment he sees those blue eyes,the words echoed in his mind as if he knew it all along. “ _Someday Sasuke, you’ll meet someone_.”

Naruko’s eyes, those _blue_ eyes, brings him back to the present. “Okay. Tomorrow then.”

Sasuke slept that night with Naruko by his side.

Sasuke doesn’t dream of _him_ that night, too.

——

Naruto doesn’t take the news lightly the following morning.

“We’ll advance the date of the wedding. Instead of January next year, it would be next month, October.” Fugaku’s voice held no hint of shock or protest as he tells them. Mikoto flashes him a grimace but says no more about the subject matter.

“Especially with what happened with the Captain of Naruko’s guard, it’s only necessary not to prolong the wedding ceremony.” Kushina adds in her no nonsense voice, her eyes on Naruko as if daring her to say the opposite. “For the good of Uzushio.”

Underneath the table, his hands are balled into fists, but he does nothing, because Uzushio is the crux of his being, of his lifetime service, and his mother knows him well enough to use it against him.

 _At what lengths would you go for Uzushio_? He remembers ero-sennin asking him one time when he visited Uzushio. Sometimes being with his sensei felt rarer than the occurrence of blue moon. He was the first one who asked him of this. At the age of nine, he couldn’t really give an answer.

 _At what lengths would you go for Uzushio?_ Tsunade had asked him as she rained down on him tips to better improve Naruko’s teenager appearance. _Make your breasts larger. The more distracting, the better._

 _At what lengths would you go for Uzushio?_ Minato had asked him before branding his arm with the swirling sign of Uzushio, a royal mark that he got as he made his oath as crown princess of Uzushio. It had been a private ceremony, and only his parents, Kakashi , Iruka, , Tsunade, Sakura and Neji had been present to bear witness. Ero-sennin was off to some faraway mission as usual. The brand burned the skin of his forearm like it had been burning coals that was put there, and the scent of incense hung heavily in the air. The high priestess, Shion, recited the final words, a heavy tome in front of her. 

 _Anything_ . He swallows the nervousness threatening to eat him whole. _Everything._ It had been more than painful, but he would go through it all for Uzushio. 

He had never loved anyone or anything as much as he did with Uzushio. 

He’d thought Sasuke might say anything, but like him he hadn’t said a word throughout breakfast. But it isn’t his usual air of indifference.

Sasuke’s silence feels like the calm before the storm, heavy and threatening. 

In the end, they didn’t make it to the oceans that day.

——

“He had forgotten everyone and everything, Itachi. Except me.” Shisui sees the wine swirling in the glass, the red of it reminding him of blood. He takes a drink anyway.

“We can’t stop them from coming here. Not even a thousand wars would suffice.” Itachi taps the beak of the crow perched precariously on the edge of his shoulder, which had been insistently nipping at the lobe of his ear for the past hour. “It’s inevitable from the very start.”

Shisui remembers a monster, and a fractured mind and a tortured soul. But most of all, he remembers a pure heart and the brightest smile he’d ever seen.

He remembers a fighter, who still valiantly tried despite having all the reasons to surrender.

But he also remembers him being a human, and an imperfect one at that. He held long, but not any longer that fateful day.

“I can’t do anything that might prevent _him_ from seeing me.” He takes another gulp from his almost empty glass, leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. “And once he does, all of it would have been for nothing.” He almost adds Sasuke, but he doesn’t.

He sees the lines of Itachi’s shoulders stiffen anyway.

Sasuke has always been a sore topic for them nowadays.

“As Crown Prince and future king of Konoha, I’ll see what I can do,” Itachi murmurs thoughtfully.

They both know it is a lie, because there is no loophole for this shit that they’re in.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God the past few weeks had been hell-consecutive long exams, quizzes, practicals and reports. I don’t even have time to breathe, much less update this faster than I wanted to. But I did my best so I hope you appreciate it.
> 
> COMMENTS PLSSS I MISS YOU GUYS AND I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU :)


	5. Loving Lament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I suck. LOL. I really am sorry if you thought I already left this fic. But I didn't. I'm just too busy with medical school that it left no room for personal leisure times. But I promise you, no matter how long it takes, I WILL finish this one. And we still got a looong way ahead, I'm telling you :P
> 
> I advise you (HEAVILY recommend you is more like it) to read the previous chapters since it’s been so long since I’ve updated and I’ve made quite a lot of references in this chapter from what transpired on the previous ones. Again, I’m so sorry for the late update. And again, I am not leaving this story. So just hang in there and I’ll do my best to update as fast as a med student can! :)

It had happened already before. And it goes without saying that death is a normal occurrence in their world. Therefore one would think that Naruto would already be accustomed to it, but it was still the same heartbreaking pain, yet at the same time different. _I’ll never be prepared for this_ , he thinks, a sliver of jade green eyes flashing by his mind, then followed by long locks of chocolate brown hair dancing in the wind. Two different people, but both makes him feel the same things: guilt and regret. _Not now, not ever._  
  
It took three days before Neji’s body is deemed fit to be lain into eternal rest. Tsunade has already obtained enough information, from the remaining chakra in Neji’s system to even as simple as a hair sample, in order to carry out a personal investigation regarding Neji’s untimely demise. It was a high profile case, with only those of high ranks and the Hyuuga clan having knowledge of Tsunade’s intervention. The less who knows, the better, he remembers Jiraiya mentioning it to him in one of their travels. Jiraiya is acclaimed for many things, and being a renowned spymaster is one of them. Naruto was curious and had asked for a tip or an advice if ever he ventured into the subtle art of subterfuge. Jiraiya snorted at him as if he found Naruto, with his loud mouth and bright colors trying his utmost best to be subtle in spying, but his face turned somber as they continued walking. He didn’t mention anything else after that .  
  
They couldn’t afford anyone jeopardizing the case, especially since the suspect’s identity remains elusive and the options too broad and complicated to be narrowed down easily.  
  
Naruto was right by Tsunade’s side, the smell of formalin already a familiar sensation to him these past few days, when she finally gave her approval. “It’s time, Naruto,” she murmurs , not correcting herself when she calls out his real name, and because of that unconscious slip and her grief-stricken voice, he has come to realize that even Tsunade is affected by Neji’s death. Maybe they are both reminded of someone else, someone who’s also dead. He holds her hand in a tight grip, this woman who is more than the captain of the Queen’s Guard- she is his mentor and had once been a strong contender for the position of Queen before Kushina was chosen. It had been a hot topic for gossip when he was still a child, and he has demanded Tsunade if there is any truth to it.  For how could one be offered the position of Queen and deny it vehemently? Tsunade just poked him in the forehead with a smirk and said, _“It isn’t in my heart’s desires to be one_.”  
  
Naruto still wondered about it after so many years. How could someone turn their back on something glorious and fulfilling? It was his one and only dream, and it was only shook aside by Tsunade like a speck of dust on her armor.

It was only when he had been with Tsunade on one of her crusades to protect the west border of Uzushiogakure. There was blood splattered all over her usually regal uniform, her fists balled up and light blond hair almost black with soot and dirt, but never had she looked more dignified than that particular moment. She looked happy, being able to do what she loved.

 _Someday,_ he had vowed to himself, _I’ll be someone who’s able to protect the one he loves._

But his past has blood of his precious friends on it, and he was trapped seemingly in the future without a choice. He’s turning out into something he never dreamed for himself to be.  
  
Pulling himself back to the present, he stares unflinchingly at the empty sockets of Neji’s eyes. It doesn’t scare him; instead, unadulterated anger courses in his veins, imagining what horror Neji must have been through.  

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Naruto made sure he was there every step on the way for the preparations, from the flower arrangement to scheduling the time for the procession. He hasn’t seen Sasuke around lately, much less had ample time to talk to him. The last communication they had was last night, when they had exchanged a curt _good night_ before they faced away from each other, a wide berth separating them on the bed. Naruto had always been sensitive to other people’s moods and Sasuke is no exception. His fiance seemed haughtier and colder since the announcement of their wedding being held earlier than both of them expected , and Naruto had sneaked glances at him more than enough to know that something was troubling the raven-haired prince. But the Uchiha doesn’t seem inclined to talk, his eyes stormy and infinitely dark and out of his reach.  
  
So Naruto doesn’t bother to try, not when he has a dear friend to bury, not when his insecurities started to cloud his mind, obliterating on its path the flimsy friendship they have formed that night in the training room. _He definitely doesn’t want me as his spouse, eh?_  
  
                                                                                                                           -0-0-  
  
Sasuke is seated by the bed, reading one of the books he’d gotten from Naruko’s library, when a voice rings out in the sleeping chamber. “I suppose you don’t have an inkling of Naruko’s whereabouts.” He lays down the book on the plush covers of the gigantic bed and looks up to see one of Naruko’s friends, the one she’s been with during the fireworks show. He finds it strangely amusing , the contradicting gentleness of her face and tone laced with undeniable scorn thrown towards him. This is the first time they address one another, and already Sasuke could sense an unspoken wariness from her.  
  
She’s a Hyuuga after all, pretty much like royalty, and he would expect nothing else from the likes of her.  
  
“Well actually, I do. She’s having a bath.” He had seen the place once - it was on the other side of the hallway, a hundred and two steps from their room. It was a spacious area, with marble walls and granite floors and a set of stairs leading down to a rectangular depression at the center, where blue water sparkled and made light noises, the atmosphere heavily scented with lilacs and honeysuckle. The high ceiling was transparent glass, and at that time it showed an expanse of indigo sky.  
  
Sasuke then noted that Naruko had a thing for wonderfully made ceilings, having previously seen the one at the library.  
  
Hinata Hyuuga just stood by the opened door, staring at him unimpressed. Sasuke only watched her in return, unperturbed by the hostile glare. He waits until she begrudgingly lets out a question. “You don’t...go to the baths together?” Her voice was a little high at the end, most probably due to incredulity.  
  
Was he missing out on something? After all, Uzushio had some weird customs he’s not fully aware of yet. Naruko was understandably subdued and tight-lipped these past few days, and Sasuke just let her have her peace of mind, not wanting to upset her any further. Sasuke shrugs impassively at her as he answers back. “As you can see, no.” Seeing her icy look makes his tongue loose a little bit. “Not that it’s any of your personal business.”  
  
And then he hears it - an unladylike chortle coming out from the lady’s mouth. “Oh please. Don’t tell me you’re still a virgin.” Sasuke is rather shocked by her stark audacity, something that isn’t plain to see on her kind face. She barrels on, unaware of his growing unease. “You haven’t kissed Naruko yet, have you?” The glare was gone, now replaced by a teasing glint in her eyes. Sasuke really preferred the latter one.  
  
“Why, is it a custom here to take her as my own before the wedding ritual?” He could feel the tips of his ears go hot and redden under her scrutiny. She smiles before walking further inside, leaving the door open behind her. In the light he could properly see her ethereal beauty - long dark hair tumbling gracefully down her back, big lilac eyes like chips of ice , and alabaster skin that glowed faintly. Since she was being frank to him, Sasuke deems it only righteous enough to treat her the same as well. “Why aren’t you spoken for yet?”  
  
The smile doesn’t leave her face. On the contrary, it widens, brightening up her whole face. “Because I am in love with someone else.” Something hard strikes at his chest with the bluntness of her statement, as if he’d been shot through with an arrow straight to his heart. Sasuke couldn’t look at her, not when the conversation sounded so personal and raw with honesty- “And this person I’m in love with is the woman you’re about to marry.”  
  
Sasuke feels his heartbeat momentarily stop. He turns his face up to look at her. He couldn’t _not_ look, after what she said so dauntlessly to him. Sasuke knows that the Hyuuga is aware that she she could be beheaded for what she had just disclosed to him. Worst, it could be used as a blackmail against her. “Why say this all of a sudden?” he asks. He doesn’t know why his voice is toned down in a hush. He doesn’t know why his heart softens for her. He doesn’t know why he suddenly has an urge to tell her everything , because from the looks of it she might be the only one who could understand him. That he only loves one person, and it will remain the same even though there will be a ring on his finger in the near future, one that will bear no amount of significance for him.  
  
Hinata comes forward until she is near enough to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Because I know you don’t love her, and we are often uncaring to those we don’t have feelings for. Especially you.” Her hold tightens, the fabric of his cloth wrinkling under her touch. “And I don’t want to see her get hurt just because she doesn’t have a say in any of this. She didn’t get to choose this as much as you do.”  
  
He doesn’t remove her hand. “What are you really asking of me?”  
  
Hinata sighs, her smile disappearing and her eyes cast down, her expression almost weary. “At least try to love her. You’ll find that it isn’t hard to do.” When he starts to protest, she cuts him off with a finger to his lips. “Or at least, be kind to her. She’s been hurt far too much, for far too long.” And with that she steps back on her heels, placing her hands behind her back. They regarded each other for a minute before she turns around and walks off towards the doorway. She stops just before her whole frame disappears from view. “I believe that this wouldn’t be the last time.” And with that, she pulls the double doors shut behind her, the sound of her heels echoing until it vanished.  
  
Her words remain with him, though, forming an insistent loop in his head. He badly wanted to speak with his brother, despite knowing that he had erased his memories. He wanted to tell him what he found when he had seen Neji’s body, that he thought it was one with a Sharingan that has done it. That he was so mad at him for tampering with his memories, for making him forget, for making him look like a fool. And above all, Sasuke wanted to tell him that he still loved him the same despite everything that has happened.

Because Itachi is his brother, his blood. And Itachi would always know what to do.

He could wait here for Naruko. Or he could go to her in the baths. And then what?

What would that make Sasuke?

-0-0-

He had already sacrificed so much, and this is only the first step in his intricately-conceived plan.

Just as foretold, tonight is a full moon, and it hung in its majestic glow in the night sky, the shine of stars almost winking out of existence every time he lets a drop of blood trail down the pentagram. And every time the drop of blood touches the ground, it leaves a scorching mark with a faint sizzling sound. The wind coming in from the mouth of the cave is rather cold and harsh for his liking, but the fire of the candles holds steadfast, burning bright and making shadows across the rough walls of the cave rising all around him.

And then he hears an unearthly wail from the body at the center of the pentagram.

He had conjured the crude pentagram with his own blood- the amount he’d used was enough to leave him dizzy, but he pushed through with the ritual. If he didn’t do it now, he would have to wait again for three months.

He isn’t immortal, not _yet_ , so couldn’t afford any more delays.

His eye catches a subtle movement of a finger twitching. The dark red lines of the symbol he’d drawn has now taken an eerie glow, lighting up the cave in a purplish hue. He could feel his body thrumming in anticipation.

And then it all goes dark.

Lights from the candles were snuffed out and the purplish glow from earlier has also disappeared, leaving only the faint moonlight illuminating the inside of the cave. He slowly takes a step inside the pentagram, carefully avoiding stepping on the lines. His eyes, having adjusted easily to the dark, takes in the the sudden color on the cheeks of the once-corpse lying listlessly on the ground.

He couldn’t stop a smile from forming. _My first creation._

It doesn’t escape his notice, the lines of fissures creeping steadily along the soft curve of her jaw, on the porcelain skin of her cheeks, and along pale eyelids until it slowly cracks open, the sound of it almost disturbingly loud against the empty cave. It reveals jade eyes, sharp as cutting grass. For a moment, all is still. He doesn’t dare to blink.

And then it happens all too fast- he feels his breath rush out of him as a gloved fist collides with his chest, hurtling him backwards towards a jutting rock. He twists his body at the last second, preventing himself from being impaled. He coughs up blood, and his head throbs. He gazes up to see a blurred form slowly trudging towards him.

He hears his eyeglass shatter before he could see it happen. He hears her run to him before he could see it too.

He then makes a sequence of complicated hand gestures, too fast even for a normal eye to follow.

Like a puppet pulled on its strings, the body stops moving. However, livid eyes are boring holes in him. He removes his broken eyeglasses and saunters towards her. His creation. He whispers with glee in the dark. “You’re perfect.”

  
-0-0-

Sasuke doesn’t bother knocking as he slides open the brass doors that lead to the bathroom. He notes with disdain how easily anyone could enter the premises unnoticed. He scans quickly the wide room, and isn’t disappointed when he sees flowing blond hair bobbing gently in the water. From up here Sasuke couldn’t see Naruko’s face. He removes his sandals by the door and treads carefully towards the stairs leading down the swimming pool. It seems that Naruko is too preoccupied to hear him coming; she doesn’t even turn around when he’s right behind her.

He kneels down by the edge of the pool, and right when he’s about to put a hand on her shoulder to gain her attention, she whirls around in a flash with a familiar-looking tantō on her hand, its sharp point almost nicking the skin of his jaw if he hadn’t hastily move out of the way. The maneuver also sends him landing on his butt, and he grimaces as a sharp pain flares out from his spine.

“Sasuke!” He manages to hear Naruko struggling to get out of the water to help him, only to see her realize that she is naked and therefore in no state to present herself to him, so she stumbles back to the water with a loud splash. Throughout the haze of pain he’d seen a tantalizing stretch of tan skin, and somehow it clears his head. The sight of Naruko more than embarrassed and her oval face blotchy red to the tips of her ears is a comical sight to behold - it makes a laugh burst out of him uncontrollably. He does until he couldn’t breathe anymore.

Naruko just watches him bemusedly before muttering, “Just let me drown in peace.” When Sasuke is still snickering at her, Naruko speaks again in a petulant voice. “Why are you here anyway?”

Sasuke tries valiantly to hold his breath, just to stop his outburst and let out a verbally clear response. The tension he had earlier from his talk with Hinata and from his thoughts of Itachi were blown away to the far recesses of his mind, leaving only this bubble of joy in his being. “Who plays with their weapon while taking a bath, seriously?” Deep down though, he’s glad of Naruko’s fast reflexes. She’s a strong woman too, and it’s right that he hadn’t underestimated her, especially that night in the training room. Sasuke had no doubt that she could hold her own.

Naruko just pulled out a tongue at him, clearly still mortified at what happened. “I do this since I was a kid. I guess being overly dramatic is hardwired in me.” And then she bites her lip, clearly torn about saying something, but she shakes her head resolutely. “Sasuke, you-I...uh... didn’t see _anything_ , d-did you?” It is the first time he hears her stutter, and he sees her fidgeting and looking anywhere but him.

“Do I look like someone who ogles as his hobby?” He replies with mock hurt. Naruko shakes her head vehemently. She’s still blushing. “But really, no. I was too blinded by pain to clearly see anything.”

He hears a gasp. Naruko looks at him with alarmed eyes. “You haven’t stood yet. Are you paralyzed? Or did your spine break? Would you be limp forever? I should-“ He cuts her panicked tirade off when he stands in one fluid motion. Her eyes levels down towards his hand, the one holding a white towel.

“You forgot to bring it with you, so…” he trails off, and this time he’s the one avoiding eye contact. He gingerly bends down and lays the soft woolen cloth on the dry floor.

His skin breaks into goosebumps when a hand reaches out to encircle his wrist, the coldness of the water seeping into his pores. He meets her gaze and was held captivated, partly because he sees himself reflected at her eyes and mostly because it is so blue, so like _his_ eyes, and there’s this weird twisting feeling in his stomach again that he hadn’t felt for years.

The moment seems to last forever, until the spell is broken when Naruko speaks. “Thank you.”

Sasuke retreats back, but he still feels the imprint of Naruko’s hand on his skin, like it has been branded there. “I’m sorry,” he founds himself saying. _Sorry for not telling you anything. Sorry if I still can’t trust you even though you’re one of the nicest people I’ve known. Sorry if I can’t tell you that it could possibly be an Uchiha behind the death of your friend. Sorry because it feels like I’m only using you for my own personal gain._ He doesn’t mention any of these. “that we haven’t went to the ocean when I promised to.”

Naruko looks startled for a moment, then smiles a little wistfully at him. “It’s okay. Maybe another time.” She reaches out to the towel by his feet. “You go on ahead.”

Sasuke wanted to say more even though he doesn’t know what, but he just nods and trudges back up the stairs and out of the room, and as he walks back to the bedroom he could feel the cold night air all over his skin except on where Naruko had touched him.

He rubs the skin on his wrist until the he couldn’t feel any sensation left.

Unfortunately, it didn’t do anything.

-0-0-

Naruto thought he is dreaming, but he knows he doesn’t because he hasn’t slept yet. Sasuke is facing him, his eyes and hair black and yet holds so much of warmth in its depths, but also with sorrow. “I am sorry for your loss.”

His throat tightens up at the thought of Neji. During the day he could easily set aside his thoughts for him because he kept himself busy. But now, at the middle of the night, the sadness seems to swallow him whole.

He hasn’t shed a tear since Neji’s death. He also didn’t talk much about it, studiously avoiding the topic everytime Kushina or Minato tries to bring it up. He also tries to minimize his interactions with Hinata and the Hyuugas. But now he lets out all of his pent up emotions, just because of Sasuke’s words. His cries sounded like it is wrenched free from his soul, as if something had been ripped off from him. It sounds ugly, and he is practically a sobbing, pathetic mess in front of his would-be husband, but one look at Sasuke is enough to tell him that the Uchiha prince doesn’t care. Instead, a strong hand pulls him into an embrace, his face ending up in Sasuke’s chest right where he could hear the beating of his heart. His head fills up with the scent of sandalwood and cloves. He could feel a hand tentatively hovering on his back, and Naruto doesn’t know what Sasuke is waiting for but he nods his head resolutely, and then the hand presses down firmly, making circular, rubbing motions. It makes him cry even more. He cries because there is a gaping hole in him that couldn’t be filled by anyone or anything anytime soon. He cries his name over and over again, as if it is an enchantment that could magically bring him back. _Neji neji neji_. Sasuke offers no word, but Naruto could feel his solid presence and silent support, and it is more than enough for him at this moment.

That night, in his dreams, it felt like someone was still holding him.

-0-0-

It is a bright, beautiful day.

It is prickling hot, and the white linen shirt that Sasuke is wearing already clings stubbornly to his back with sweat. The first time he looks around, he is overwhelmed by the sea of lilac flowers surrounding him, the petals almost the exact shade of a Hyuuga’s eyes. He is even holding one, and another has placed on the front of his shirt like a brooch.

He didn’t know that the procession would end here, right to the vivid waters surrounding Uzushiogakure. After the cremation, Sasuke thought that they would bury it to the ground like Konoha does with their dead. He had been mildly surprised when the people suddenly formed two straight lines, with Kushina and Minato in front. Behind them are Hiashi Hyuuga with his daughter. Hinata reaches out a reassuring hand to Naruko when she passes her by, and Sasuke could see it now, bright as day: eyes overflowing with love for the person in front of her. He wonders how Naruko couldn’t see it when it is so obvious to him. Hinata barely glances at his direction as if last night didn’t happen. Naruko pulls him along her side, her other hand holding the porcelain vase containing Neji’s ashes. Fugaku and Mikoto is right behind them, with Tsunade and a few chosen guards on their backs. From a distance they hear the loud thump of a drum beating rhythmically, and by the eighth beat the people had started moving.  
  
Naruko steps forward, leaving Sasuke with his parents. The wind picks up, her white dress flowing gracefully around her ankles and her blonde hair fluttering gently with the wind. Sasuke could feel the grainy sand on his feet, and he loves the feel of it. He glances up to see her bow her head and murmur something too low for anyone to hear, before facing the crowd. He feels his breath stolen from him at the sight of her eyes. Sasuke has always loved the ocean, moreso when he met _him_ , but even though there is a vast ocean stretching both ways in front of him right now, all he could look at is Naruko’s startlingly beautiful eyes. At that moment, Naruko looks so much like _him_.

He reaches up a hand to his face, his fingertips coming away with tears. Thankfully Naruko hadn’t seen it. She is busy looking at each and every face before speaking. “This isn’t goodbye.” She opens the jar and grabs a fistful of ashes before passing the container to Kushina. Naruko faces back and brings her hand down to the water, the ashes scattering in its foamy waves. The people started to scatter, all of them placing their lilac flowers on the ocean. Sasuke goes up to Naruko, who is staring across the ocean, her eyes faraway. Sasuke drops down to his knee and lets go of the lilac flower, watching its petals get drenched before bobbing across the waves and slowly inching away from him.

Suddenly a wave of sadness comes over him. He wishes for Neji’s eternal peace even though he hadn’t met him in this lifetime. Maybe someday, when the world is less cruel and life is a little bit more than fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping to see Jiraiya soon :P And yeah, I’ve introduced another new character. I think I’ve dropped hints as to who he is. And oooh la la, someone is brought back to the dead , I think you know who might that be ;) Lol I am telling you, this story is sooo complex, but hopefully it will all come together (but not in the near future LMAO). 
> 
> Comments please? I looooove to hear from you (Welcome me back in your arms LOL)


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